I’ve been a fan of the team formerly known as the Florida
Marlins for twenty years now. I remember
sitting in an 18 foot camper (long story) in 1993 watching a grainy broadcast
of the first pitch in Marlins history. I’ve been a devoted and loyal fan ever
since. In fact, I’ve been a Marlin since
many of their current players were in diapers.
So why would I hesitate to answer if I’m still a fan? Simply put, because the Marlins have not
reciprocated the loyalty that I have shown towards them for two decades now. Every other year the team dumps its talented,
higly-compensated players and restocks the roster with lower-salaried, bargain
basement “prospects.” This offseason was
no different as the team transferred the top players north of the border to
Toronto – just days after one player (Jose Reyes) was told by the team
owner to buy a house in Miami because he was NEVER going to be traded. The Marlins have no loyalty to their players
or the fans, and that makes maintaining loyalty to them a challenge.
But I hold myself to a higher standard than the Marlins
lying, disloyal ownership. Or maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment. Either way, I’m still a Marlins fan. Even if the guy who asked me this has long
since stopped waiting for my reply.
But truthfully, this non-reciprocated loyalty is not
relegated strictly to the Miami Marlins.
In fact, loyalty in any form is extremely uncommon in professional sports. Most teams have no loyalty to their players
(just ask Peyton Manning about the team he took the Super Bowl). Additionally, players have no loyalty to
their teams (have you watched the NFL’s free agency period this week?) And, more often than not, teams have little
to no loyalty to their fans or host cities.
Relocation (aka Franchise Free Agency) is almost commonplace now –
especially in hockey. The professional
hockey team from Winnipeg relocated to Phoenix in 1996, but then years later
the team from Atlanta relocated to Winnipeg.
This was, of course, after the prior Atlanta franchise packed up and moved
to Calgary.
But the idea of loyalty extends to all areas of life – many
that are so much more important than that of spectator sports. Many years ago I attended the baptism of a
friend’s nephew on a Saturday afternoon.
Someone at the ceremony mentioned they were surprised to see a single
20-something man at a baptism on a Saturday – especially when it wasn’t even
his own family. My friend replied with
four simple words: “like an old dog.”
His point was simple: Vince is loyal.
I took it as a great compliment, and I still remember his words nearly
20 years later.
The funny thing is, I didn’t even consider doing anything
else on the day of the baptism. And
looking back I don’t really think of it as some grand display of loyalty. To me it was just doing what you’re supposed to do.
I’ve actually had one strange and memorable accusation of
disloyalty. It came from someone who was
surprised that I am a fan of the football team from my alma mater, and not of
the University of Florida. I was called
a traitor for not being a Gator fan. It
wasn’t said with anger, but it was still odd. Let that sink in: I was accused of being disloyal,
because I had loyalty to the school I attended.
The irony in that makes my brain ache.
But I’m no saint and I certainly don’t wish to give the
impression that I’m the anointed poster boy of loyalty. The sad fact is that I, like most, have some
instances of shameful disloyalty in my past.
I actually skipped the baptism of another friend’s child just
because I didn’t approve of his religious affiliation. Let me put that another way – I thought he
was a member of a loony-bin wacko church and I wanted nothing to do with
it. But he was a good and loyal friend,
and I know now that I should have attended the ceremony. I regret not going, and I still think about it sometimes.
Sadly, once you’ve committed one act of disloyalty, it’s
hard to shake the reputation. Think
about someone you really trusted at some point who turned on you – someone who gossiped
about you or stabbed you in the back.
Maybe you still hold the grudge or maybe you were able to forgive them in
time. But even if you did, I bet you
never felt the same way about them again.
And I’m sure those who’ve endured my acts of disloyalty haven’t forgotten
my transgressions. I know that I sure haven’t.
Remaining loyal gets tricky when you’re faced with
conflicting loyalties. I’m not talking
about the simple Tim Tebow’s team is playing the Jaguars type of conflict, but much
more important situations. Life
situations. The kind of dire situation
such as when your loyalty is torn between your best friend and your spouse. Or a friend and a sibling. Or a parent and a spouse. You get the point. Those are the types of no-win situations
where you’re probably going to be branded as disloyal no matter which side you choose.
Sometimes the conflict doesn’t involve loyalty to a person
at all – sometimes it’s even more complex than that. I fight the fight of choosing between my
loyalty to my friends and my loyalty to my religious faith almost daily. What can I do when a friend (or even family
member) openly mocks my faith? Do I just
idly sit by and say nothing? Do I
politely tell them to keep their big mouth shut? Do I severe the relationship and close myself
off to only associating with those who think like I do? What a boring existence that would be. Yet, my loyalty to my faith, to my God, won’t
allow me to just sit by grinning like an inbred hillbilly while my beliefs are
mocked.
I have a religious blog where an in-depth discussion on
loyalty to one’s faith would be more appropriate, so I won’t delve too deeply
into the subject here. But I’ll just say
that it’s been a personal struggle for years, and one that has reached its apex
in the past month – a month that saw me severe ties with someone I’ve known for
over twenty-five years. Bottom
line: for me personally loyalty to my
faith trumps all. But there’s nothing
all that rewarding about severing ties with old friends. Nobody ever said loyalty was easy.
In my experience I have found that loyalty is incredibly
important in male relationships. One
could even say it’s the cornerstone of any lasting male friendship. When I was in high school we had a saying: “A
friend will help you move, but a best friend will help you move a body.” Fortunately, I never had to make that frantic
2am call, but I was lucky enough to have a few friends that I knew would show
up with shovel in-hand if I did. Some of
them still would.
Two weeks ago, one of those high school buddies took three
hours out of his Saturday morning (and probably spent over $10 in gas) to come
to my daughter’s Little League baseball game.
That’s loyalty. That’s why some
friendships have been in place for two and a half decades. But if you were to ask him I’m sure he’d say
that he was just doing what you’re supposed to do.
So is it worth it? Is
it worth the time and effort that remaining loyal demands? Couldn’t we just be like the millionaire
athletes or billionaire owners who get richer every year despite exhibiting
even a shred of loyalty to anyone or anything?
Loyalty to friends and family will inevitably pay
dividends. Maybe 26 years down the line
someone will show up at your daughter’s baseball game on a Saturday morning.
And loyalty to a particularly faith? Well I guess we won’t know that one until
after our life has ended.
Loyalty to sports teams?
Oh those abusive, condescending, disloyal sports teams. I guess if my Marlins are ever even slightly
relevant again I can say, “I’ve been a fan since 1993” and maybe somebody will
be impressed. I guess.
One final note. At
the beginning of this blog entry I shared an anecdote about attending a baptism
on a Saturday afternoon while I was in my 20’s.
The mother of the child who was being baptized that day had another baby
last month. She named her newborn
Vincent. Loyalty does pay off.
Like an old dog. The
words still sound wonderful to my ears.
Manning Finds the Colts Disloyalty Too Much to Handle
